Day 29 - The Final Third

Today begins the last two weeks of this 40 day program.

The final third.

Some time ago, and for a day too long, I was with a partner who ground into my head that I was "two-thirds Thom." The implication and attack in the comment was the accusation that I rarely, if ever, completed anything. The observation was that I was really quite good at getting two-thirds of the way through something and then losing track of the goal.

Like so many statements of this type (and I've noticed lately that we hear a lot of them in political campaigns), it was close enough to the truth to be troublesome but far enough from the truth to be debilitating. The comment was regularly used as an attack and a put down and I sucked it up as a basic reality in my life and accepted it as a declaration of my inadequacy.

Let's just say... it was not facilitative.

As I hit this point today, I feel some of the hesitancy that such a behavioral script tends to load into one's brain and I sort of draw back from the goal ahead. Maybe she was right for all those years. Maybe I don't have what it takes to accomplish anything. Maybe... fundamentally... I'm just a loser, a screw up, a wastrel.

At the same time, I am so pleased with the amount of stuff I have accomplished over the last month (not to mention the last year) that I am really supercharged for this last two weeks... this final third.