Another terrific weekend. Time from work. Time to help out. Time to reflect. Time to have fun.
Most people reading this probably think this scenario is pretty ridiculous. What's to be so pleased about in "taking time off?"
Nothing... except... THAT, in fact, would be the point.
For pretty much my entire adult life I almost never took any time off. At the same time, I didn't work a "normal job" like most people. I didn't clock in at 9 and out at 5. I didn't have scheduled weeks of paid vacation, I didn't have health insurance, etc. etc. etc. I was fortunate enough throughout my daughter's young life (and that of my "step-kids" as well) to be the parent who was at home, because I worked at home. The problem was, that while I had the opportunity to volunteer at my daughter's school, to pick her up and take her to friends, to play the music she danced to in the living room, and to make dinner almost every night, I was also the person who basically never stopped working. I almost never took time off. We rarely spent time "as a family." I got up early in the morning and went to bed late at night, sitting at the computer while all of life ran around me. I had one eye on the kids, one hand in the kitchen, and almost never ANY complete presence to the moment. I was spinning plates, and while I only lost a few to spills and crashes and flying saucers, I also missed out on much.
That is probably the greatest sadness of my life.
What began for me a little over a year ago, has, with these 40 day plans, come to full flower. I am finally, for the first time in my life, finding out what all the fuss is about. I am learning that getting away from the work, not only makes your life better, it makes the WORK better too.
Hence, the story of Day 8... a day of long hours and as yet unfinished business, ALL spent doing what I most want to do... WRITING.
Writing... and getting paid for it.
If there is one target goal in all of this (and there really are many, but if there WERE just one) it would be that one. To write for a living.
The dream is in fact slowly coming true. Resting and reflecting and not simply barreling full speed ahead is the process that is making it happen.
Why couldn't I have learned this 30 years ago?
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2 comments:
If I do say so myself, in the short amount of time I've known you (hang on, it's 11 f**king years!!!) I have on more than one occasion told you directly that you are a fantastic writer.
Of course, the compliment is usually followed by a backhanded insult along the lines of "you suck at everything else" or "start by writing me a cheque"!
But that doesn't make the compliment any less sincere.
You are a GREAT writer, even someone who reads as little as me knows this - and bare in mind I now get paid to read and critique words (and other media) for a living. Scary!!
And for any non-believers out there, hey, the guy's even started writing the cheques. Amen! (although he spells it "checks" the daft seppo!).
Ok, I'm done writing. Your turn...
Hoz.
Precisely because you took 30 years doing exactly what you've done - that is why you have learned what you have learned.
No other way ... shoulda, coulda, just endless jerking off.
Simply be grateful, that's all there is.
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